you kill me. and you dont even know it.

-stephanie

the feeling in your heart, when you love. or your falling is beautiful. love is that

feeling... you know the one where you see that person and you feel what they

feel and you breath what they breath. you feel so sick but so good at the same

time. bittersweet is the word that comes to mind. you adore that feeling, yet cant

seem to reach for it. some hate the feeling at that moment when you feel tense

and cant speak...as if the butterflies in your stomach have now turned to

nails...one move and your gone. its a feeling in your stomach so potent it makes

you sick to the point where you dont want it anymore but once its gone you

want it back and never want to let it go. that feeling is rushing through your

body. and when you realize that, that person you saw for that short 3 sec could

have such an impression on your life and make you feel wanted and so alive. that

is when you know that you love someone or your falling. love is just a feeling in

the pit of your stomach and when you feel it dont let it get away. make a move

and follow your heart.



-stephanie

sometimes it seems like the world is never listening. the walls are sweating from

fear of being distroyed. lonely is never good but some ask for it softly. i have a

world in my head spinning around, listening to music of greatness. i hide in that

world to escape this one. there i am never forgotten. i have never once lost

myself, but only playing hide and go seek.

-stephanie

i once said love was beautiful but i lied. doesnt everyone do that at one point.

love can be beautiful but im tierd of lying, how can i know what love is when ive

never had it myself. i never followed my heart and i gave up! what kind of

person am i??? i lost and they won. in the end they say hope is the last to die,

but in all reality mine was murdered and taken. my chance passed me by and i

didnt even know it. i gave up.



-stephanie

he never wanted me...like i wanted him. i dont understand how im never going to

be good enough! he stole my spirit to love and dragged it across the ground. he

will never understand how bad he hurt me, and bruised my heart. my dreams of

love have now faded and im not sure if they are coming back. you scared me

until i was nothing more then what i am today... weak. i am weak for never being

enough. i am so scared to look at another again... in fear that they will be just

like you. the pain is worse then i have ever felt, my heart is breaking. but no

matter what i will always be there for you and i love you. you are my best friend

and my worst enemy, you inspire me but kill me. i dont know if that is possible

but thats my heart and i gave it willingly... you never knew it was there. my heart

was butcherd in front of my eyes. i survived but my heart didnt. i am crushed. i

fell for you and that is the truth.



-stephanie

do you find it insane how people can be the best and in one second they

change?? i dont understand...never call people best friends forever because

forever dies once black and white becomes a shade of grey. i hate the feeling

that im losing what i had and gaining nothing in return. i feel like im going

nowhere...someone save me. i am left alone. i miss the days where nothing was

wrong and nothing changed... i guess i would be lying to myself if i said those days

really existed. what happend to all of us???



-stephanie

what happens after this. everything that i have come to love and know has left

me. nothing ever stays the same and i beat myself up for wishing that it would.

abandoned from all, i am here reaching out...for nothing that is real. i feel so hurt

and betrayed by those i have once loved. you have all left me and i am alone. i

have a short time left here then i am gone, out of this place, this town, i am gone

and never looking back. nothing is keeping me here. my life was great with all of

you in it...until you changed. as the world changes so do we...so goodbye to the

old i will miss you all.



-stephanie